It’s Fucked Up Friday News Time

Ok folks it’s another Fucked Up Friday and it’s time for the news.  Since I’ve previously focused on sex related topics I’ve decided this weeks news will center around fucked up religious  news.  

Satan Is Suing Ottowa – Self-appointed party president Brian “Godzilla” Salmi filed suit in Federal Court in Montreal Tuesday over the 14-year-old election reform laws that stripped the Rhinos of registered party status.  He has legally changed his name to Satan and, officially, the lawsuit is filed under Satan versus Her Majesty The Queen.

Irish Village Claims to be the Seat of a Religious Sex Cult – I guess Ireland isn’t any different than any other place when it comes to having cult organizations.  The Children of God Cult, in which orgies and sex between adults and children was considered the highest expression of love, had one of its communes in county Limerick in the late 1990’s, it has been claimed in a new book. And Julianna Buhring, who lived in one of the religious cult’s rented homes somewhere near Castleconnell for over a year, said she is “positive” the organisation is still active in this region.

Colorado Police Officers Lose Their Badges for being Polygamists – I can’t figure out why these people admit to it.  It’s their lives and while bigamy may be against the law there is a certain infringement on civic rights in my opinion when the government starts poking its nose into someone’s bedroom affairs.  Several police officers are waiting anxiously for the outcome in this situation because not having a pay check ruins everybody’s day.

18-year-old Girl Ordered to be Gang-raped to Shame Her Family – What the fuck is wrong with people??  A young girl in Pakistan was ordered to be raped because her 11 year old brother walked another girl home unchaperoned.  One of the men sitting on the council that ordered this punishment is the girl’s uncle.  I hope they rape the fuckers in the ass and shoot them in the face for what they’ve done.

Horny Catholic Priest Jogs Naked Around the Frederick High School Track – Oh My God!  I almost died laughing when I heard this.  Apparently some horny old priest not only walks around naked in his house with his curtains open but he also jogs at the ass-crack of dawn in the buff.  Someone spotted him and called the police.  He told police he knew it was wrong but he’s a big man and sweats too much to wear clothing.  The stupid thing is no charges were filed and all the priest had to do was get therapy.

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Friday is Fucked Up News Day

I’m going to try something new.  Scary thought huh?  Not really, I think you can handle it.

From now on, until I change my mind or get tired of doing it, Friday will be known as Fucked Up News Day.  I’m going to post a rehash of fucked up things that appear in the news around the nation.  

So without blathering on more than necessary, here’s today’s fucked up news.

A woman in Atlanta Georgia plowed into a patrol car earlier this week while sending a text message on her cell phone. Not only did she smash into a parked police vehicle but the damn thing had its emergency lights flashing. Isn’t it amazing that people do shit like that?

A pipe smoking dog killer was arrested in Massachusets for stealing a thigh bone and a skull to make himself an ashtray and a new pipe.  He apparently was out digging a grave for the dog in a church cemetary when he accidentally found a broken casket and stole the bones from there.

How stupid do you have to be to believe that a dentist filled 52 cavities in one patient’s mouth in one day?  It seemed that Brooklyn Dentist, Mohinder Mayell, believes Medicaid is just that stupid. He has filed claims for numerous patients and received a monumental reimbursement of $896,000 in a 42 month time span.

You’ve heard about the idiots that sued fast food joints like McDonald’s for getting fat.  Well, now some fucking ignorant woman is suing the Starburst parent company, Mars Inc.  because their candy is too chewy.  She wants Starburst to put a warning label on the product and claims that after 3 chews her jaw locked up so bad she developed temporal mandibular joint dysfunction.  I guess it didn’t lock up her jaw long enough or bad enough to keep her mouth shut permanently.

What the hell is wrong with people?  Did you know Jewish men can’t listen to female voices because it’s the same thing as seeing her naked? I guess it’s true, religion is more fucked up than I thought.  Eliyahu Faizko, a young singer had his songs banned from pirate radio stations because his voice sounded to girly.

Well, that’s the fucked up news for today.  There’s plenty more fucked up people out there doing fucked up things so stay tuned for next Friday’s Fucked Up News report.

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