I’m going to try something new. Scary thought huh? Not really, I think you can handle it.
From now on, until I change my mind or get tired of doing it, Friday will be known as Fucked Up News Day. I’m going to post a rehash of fucked up things that appear in the news around the nation.
So without blathering on more than necessary, here’s today’s fucked up news.
A woman in Atlanta Georgia plowed into a patrol car earlier this week while sending a text message on her cell phone. Not only did she smash into a parked police vehicle but the damn thing had its emergency lights flashing. Isn’t it amazing that people do shit like that?
A pipe smoking dog killer was arrested in Massachusets for stealing a thigh bone and a skull to make himself an ashtray and a new pipe. He apparently was out digging a grave for the dog in a church cemetary when he accidentally found a broken casket and stole the bones from there.
How stupid do you have to be to believe that a dentist filled 52 cavities in one patient’s mouth in one day? It seemed that Brooklyn Dentist, Mohinder Mayell, believes Medicaid is just that stupid. He has filed claims for numerous patients and received a monumental reimbursement of $896,000 in a 42 month time span.
You’ve heard about the idiots that sued fast food joints like McDonald’s for getting fat. Well, now some fucking ignorant woman is suing the Starburst parent company, Mars Inc. because their candy is too chewy. She wants Starburst to put a warning label on the product and claims that after 3 chews her jaw locked up so bad she developed temporal mandibular joint dysfunction. I guess it didn’t lock up her jaw long enough or bad enough to keep her mouth shut permanently.
What the hell is wrong with people? Did you know Jewish men can’t listen to female voices because it’s the same thing as seeing her naked? I guess it’s true, religion is more fucked up than I thought. Eliyahu Faizko, a young singer had his songs banned from pirate radio stations because his voice sounded to girly.
Well, that’s the fucked up news for today. There’s plenty more fucked up people out there doing fucked up things so stay tuned for next Friday’s Fucked Up News report.
Raunchy Taters 