I woke up this morning without a lot to say. I thought, “crap, I don’t feel like blogging today. I don’t feel like churning out any articles, in fact I don’t feel like doing anything. You know what sounds nice? Heading out to the candle store for some new smells.”
I am so beyond proud of myself. Today is the 25th non-smoking day of my life and my sense of smell is stronger I’d like to have the scent of warm cinnamon apples wafting through my house but I’m almost out of candles so I should go get some.
And then it happened. Shit started running through my head and the idea crossed my mind that I should be writing this stuff down. I’m getting off track here and this is likely to be a long and Schizophrenic post as my mind is waaaaaay ahead of my fingers. That’s why I’m calling this the multi-topic topic.
First let me tell you about something that has me extremely disturbed.
Have you seen the show on VH1 called The Pick Up Artist? What. The. Fuck? Who thought of this stupidity and where the hell did they find these god damned faggots at?
I mistakenly turned the show on ONE TIME out of curiosity and I had to learn the hard way. Who the hell calls the host of a fucking cheeseball show like this Mystery?? And does anyone besides me see that “Mystery” is butt ass ugly? Has anyone mentioned that all the participants look and act like fucking fags? This show makes me seriously gag. I get throw-up in my throat, it’s that bad.
Now let me explain why I haven’t posted much lately.
As you know I have a son who’s name is Blake. I dubbed one-young-son with this name because it brought forth images of success, good looks, a sweet and charming personality. The name does fit him, some of the time in some of the ways anyway. He’s a good looking boy when his pants aren’t hanging down off of his ass, there’s no ketchup on his shirt and he hasn’t destroyed the skin on his face by picking at it. He is sweet and charming when he wants to be which as of late has only been when he wants something. As for success, (imagine a long sigh here) this is kid with a very high IQ who has no fucking common sense!!
He thinks its nerdy to do well in school. Yea like everyone loves a loser. Last week it came to my attention that one-young-son has been ditching school and going to the mall for 3 weeks and is miserably failing as well as dropped out of football.
The little shit! Needless to say he has been killed. Not physically and not really…but yea really. He’s lost all privileges and is suffering from some sort of shock that he’s been busted and his chain has been officially yanked.
My husband keeps telling me we need to go see the teacher. I don’t think he’s ever heard a word that I or the school has ever said to him about how the school handles things. Nowadays you don’t go see the teacher and you most certainly don’t go see the principle; you send an email.
That’s the policy and should you try to gain access without following the proper procedure the end result will be the principle asking you if you’ve emailed the teacher and then suggesting that you do so.
I informed hubby dear that that is how it works. There are no exceptions. Okay maybe if your kid set someone on fire or something, but not in our case. Anyway I think my husband finally got it. He stood there with his mouth gaping open and I saw the urge to disagree cause his face to twitch several times but finally he asked, “when did high school become an email institution?”
Oh it gets better. I know this is a long read but get this.
After finding out his counselor didn’t give a shit what our plan with one-young-son was just as long as we fixed the problem so the school could get paid for his ass being in a seat everyday, we put our get-your-ass-in-gear plan with Blake into action on our own. According to the counselor, they were losing too much money on this kid and the school had provided me with internet access to a daily log about my son that would be updated every period. Other than that have a nice day, we don’t need to speak again.
Blake has since started getting his ass in gear. He’s now doing homework in the evenings and is bored stiff without any toys, movies, stereo’s, radios, cd players, ipods or cell phones in his room. He’s been working on a big project for the last couple of days and even managed to get it finished and burn it to a CD.
This morning we were on our way out the door for school and Blake mistakenly picked up his backpack and left the damned CD on the table. During second period he called and asked me to bring it in. I got pissed off. I hate it when they do that. I’m not the kind of mom that hops in the Volvo and runs off to school to save my kid’s butts when they forget something.
The solution? I emailed the project to his teacher to turn it in for him. How do you like that? Email Institution, remember it, it’s the here and now.
I’m going to try to make this next part of the post a little shorter than the last but it might not happen because I’m feeling particularly wordy today. I believe blogging might just be therapy for the overly talkative.
I was sitting on the couch a few minutes ago, before I finally decided to log on and post all of this, watching The View and thinking about going to buy more candles. I turned to The View part way through and at first had no idea what they were talking about.
Then one of them mentioned foot tapping and I realized they were talking about Senator Larry Craig and his notorious foot tapping crime. That Elizabeth chick (scary June Cleaver, religious right-winged, close minded, GW Bush supporting chick) was going on and on about some legal team that defended a group of Nazi’s in Idaho or some such shit.
Whoopi jumped in basically saying that the reason this
group defended the Nazi’s is so that people like her have the freedom to go on TV shows and say what they want. They bickered back and forth and you see Elizabeth got pissed off. She lost that cute Barbie doll look with her lips all pushed out while she frowned.
She went off on this tirade about how just because some things are technically/legally right doesn’t make them morally right and at some point that needs to be addressed.
Who fucking made her god?? Who the hell gets to decide what is morally right for every single fucking person in America? Oh no! This is some shit! This is when someone needs to drag her stupid ass off her moral throne and slap her around a bit.
Elizabeth thinks a lot like my mother as well do a lot of conservative right-wing republicans but if I had to live according to what they’d consider is morally right for me, I’d rather shoot myself in the fucking head.
Now, I’m done. I’ve let it all out and I feel better. I think I will go candle shopping after all.
Raunchy Taters 