Fucked Up Friday News

Ok so it isn’t Friday, I know that but since I didn’t get my butt moving and make the post yesterday I decided to make up for it today.   I’ve missed posting the last couple of Fridays because of my vacation travels so now we’ll all be back on track with all the weird fucked up things that happen around the world.

Three men were sentenced to wearing chicken suits outside in public by a judge in Ohio for soliciting  sex from a police officer who was undercover.  The terms of their sentence is for them wear the chicken suits on the court house property between 4 p.m. and 7 p.m. while carrying signs that read, “No Chicken Ranch in Painesville,” in reference to Nevada’s famous Chicken Ranch brothel.

You know you are seriously fucked up when you start calling 911 operators to keep you company.  That’s exactly what one Florida man has done.  Apparently he made 292 calls to 911.  This must have been one lonely fuck because he only wanted to talk to female dispatchers and reportedly wanted to talk nasty to them.  Here’s a clue…911 dispatchers are not phone sex operators you idiot.  What makes this story even more of a riot is that the reason he called 911 was because he didn’t have any minutes left on his phone and 911 is free.

What would you think if a porn star started using your real name as a stage name?  I guess one chick in Houston, Texas wasn’t too happy about it happening to her.  Some girl she went to school with liked the sound of her name so much that she started using it as her stage name when she became a porn star.  Now the girl who’s name it was originally is suing her over the name Syvette Wimberly.  Porn star Syvette Wimberly said she used it because she liked the sound of it and the real Syvette Wimberly won’t get a dime out of her because she’s broke.

What kind of fucking dentist gives their patients fake boar tusks for teeth while they are under anastesthia, takes pictures of it and then removes them before they wake up?  The fucking sick kind, that’s what kind.  Dr. Robert Woo (if he’s your dentist run for the hills) thought this was a great prank and did this very thing to one of his patients who has now decided to sue him for humiliating her.  Did I mention she worked for him for 5 years?  Well she did and she didn’t find out about it until the other staff members gave her copies of the pictures at her birthday party.

It just goes to show that the rules of grammar still count for something in this day of texting, blogging and internet slang.  Kevin Taylor from Minneapolis lost out on a $1,000 prize for not using proper grammar when he forgot to put an exclamation point at the end of his text during a text messaging contest at the North Dakota State Fair.

Wisconsin law could not charge three men for sexual assault last because it has no law against necrophilia. That’s right I said necrophilia.  Three men drove to a cemetery and tried to dig up the body of a 20 year old woman,  Laura Tennesse, who had died in a car accident the previous week.  They had intended to have sex with her corpse after seeing her obituary photo but had to abondon the plan because they couldn’t get her dug up.  The locals are outraged of course and now there’s talk of trying to change the laws.

Well folks, that’s the news.  Another Fucked Up Friday has come and gone, it’s all history now but it still makes for good reading.  Have a great week and I’ll see you this coming fucked up Friday.


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